The Contented Cow Blog

Building Workplaces That Work

I recently posted the following excerpt from our new book, Contented Cows MOOve Faster, in the OI Partners newsletter. It never occurred to me that our readers might appreciate it, too. Duh!

A Culture of Listening

One of the clearest signs of an organization with a culture that respects the individual is the presence of listening - real listening.

The opposite of listening is waiting to talk. Perhaps one reason we so often fail at listening is because we excel at its opposite. There are several pairs (or groups) of activities that we, as humans, can perform simultaneously. It breaches the bounds of good taste to enumerate many of them. But just like sneezing while holding your eyes open, it is simply impossible to both speak and listen simultaneously. We would all do well to take the occasional look in the mirror, as a reminder that most of us were endowed with exactly one mouth, and double that ration of ears.

Hearing Aids

1. Be prepared. Listening is hard work and takes practice. Clear the decks; be “in the moment.”

2. Quiet the mind. In the same way that listening can’t take place while you’re talking, it doesn’t happen when you’re thinking about something else. Consciously put all those other thoughts, worries, and problems you’re trying to solve on hold while you’re listening to someone else. You can come back and pick them up later

3. Focus. We all like to talk (brag?) about multitasking. This is one area where the concept is just plain useless. Focus on the person you are listening to, nothing more, period. To the degree that you can, schedule your listening-intensive activities into that portion of the day when you are most alert.

4. Listen with your eyes. That’s right, many good listeners listen as much with their eyes (and other senses) as they do with their ears. What are the other person’s facial gestures? What is their body language telling you? A good self-test is to try to remember the color of the other person’s eyes.
5. Listen with empathy. We listen best when we listen for understanding. It helps to put yourself in the other person’s shoes and try to appreciate not just what they are saying, but what they are feeling. You can’t do that if you are being judgmental, or readying your response.
6. Ask questions. As with any good reporter, getting a full appreciation for what the other person is saying (or trying to say) necessitates the asking of questions, sometimes tough questions.
7. Take notes. More than just a symbol, taking notes actually serves to reinforce in your brain what the other person is saying.
8. Play it back. Don’t leave the conversation until you’ve verbally summarized (not parroted) what you’ve just listened to.

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