Listen, Damnit
Yesterday afternoon I had a private lesson with one of the “geniuses” (a legitimate, self-proclaimed moniker) at our nearby Apple Store. I’m working on a new speech to be delivered next week, together with a fresh set of PowerPoint slides that will no longer be delivered via PowerPoint, but instead, Apple’s Keynote software. That’s a lot of new stuff at one time, so I wanted to get a little extra help. True to form, I got it - those kids are great! (BTW, Apples’ ProCare program is the deal of the century for anyone who uses Mac stuff. It provides free private lessons and walk-up tech support for $100/year. )
Anyhow, Justin, my genius, offered to hook up an auxiliary monitor and show me how the presentation would look to my audience. Without giving his suggestion much (no, any) thought, I dismissed the idea and moved on to the next item on my “need to know” list. Bad move. When I got back to the office and decided to do a dress rehearsal, I discovered that the connection wasn’t as automatic as I thought, and that maybe, just maybe, Justin might have had a better idea. So, I’ll be heading back to the Apple Store today, hat in hand, to get the help I was offered yesterday.
This is but a single, simple example of something I’ve become more and more convinced of over the years - that the unwillingness to listen, really listen is perhaps THE single greatest impediment to man’s exercise of effective leadership. Many of us, from the moment we are appointed to our first management position, act as though we are the only ones on planet Earth with any brains, ability, or good ideas. It pains me to say this, but I’m virtually certain that men are more deeply afflicted with this than women. Yikes!
Sadly, the point was further driven home by an article in Tuesday’s Washington Post . Written by no fewer than twelve (12) former U.S. Army captains, the article details how we have plowed ahead with our misadventures in Iraq despite early and ongoing admonishments from officers on the scene that this dog simply won’t hunt. I only wish the consequences of this listening lapse were less tragic.
Clinical Psychologist, Larry Nadig, PH.D. offers good guidance on things to watch out for in order to avoid listening lapses:
- Being preoccupied and not listening
- Being so interested in what YOU have to say that you listen mainly to find an opening to get the floor (waiting to talk)
- Formulating and listening to your own rebuttal to what the speaker is saying
- Listening to your own personal beliefs about what is being said
- Evaluating and making judgments about the speaker or the message
- Not asking for clarification when you know that you do not understand.
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