The Contented Cow Blog

Building Workplaces That Work

I have no way of knowing this, but I would bet a tidy sum that the majority of readers of this blog are, like its authors, members of the baby-boom generation. If so, then I’ve also got to believe that more than one or two occasionally worry, as I’ve been known to do, about the danger of personal irrelevance that seems to want to accompany graying hair.

Though perfectly willing to suffer some of the downsides of aging (it beats the hell out of the alternative), irrelevance isn’t one of them. Hence, borrowing a lesson from my 86 year-old father, who daily reads two printed newspapers, in addition to web surfing for e-news, (sandwiched around lots of old shoot ‘em up TV westerns),  I remain on the lookout for ways to stay vibrant, informed, and connected to the real world. In so doing, I’ve become convinced that there are at least three keys to this quest:

Listening – One of the real dangers to having been there and done that is the risk of forgetting why each of us was issued two ears and only one mouth. I can assure you that risk is amplified when one earns a good portion of his living via paid speaking and training engagements. On the premise that “waiting to talk” is the opposite of listening, and that having your mouth fly open the very instant someone else’s closes is pretty good evidence that you haven’t been listening, I’m trying mightily to force myself to become a better listener. I’m finding some (emphasis on ‘some’) success with two methods:

1.)    By being sure to notice the color of a person’s eyes when we’re having a face to face conversation, and
2.)    Deliberately inserting a 3 to 4 second pause before responding. Much more important than merely giving the appearance of listening, it actually forces me to think about what the other person is saying, rather than responding reflexively. For those who might be put off by the pause, I’d a lot rather have people label me a “slow processor” than an arrogant non-listener.

Learning – Though this one goes hand in glove with listening, I’ve finally figured out that if you’re not learning daily, you are becoming less relevant. Though it’s fun (and easier) to hang out with one’s “buds” who are of like mind and vintage, I learn a hell of a lot more from people about half my age. One great example is a 20 year-old Claremont McKenna College student by the name of Ben Casnocha. Were it not for the Internet, we wouldn’t be in the same sphere (thank you, Al Gore ☺) I stumbled on his blog about a month ago and have found it interesting as well as informative.

Laughing – Many days a plain rubber band adorns my wrist as a personal reminder of e.e. cummings’ quote, “The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.” I’ve concluded that it’s virtually impossible to be relevant when one is self-absorbed, and that laughter is a great way to escape the grip of one’s own tribulations and remain more outwardly focused.

Godspeed!

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